Caregiver Burnout: What Actually Helps (And What Doesn’t)
Burnout Isn’t a Buzzword. It’s a Bloodletting.
Let’s get one thing straight: caregiver burnout isn’t about being tired. It’s about being obliterated. Physically, mentally, emotionally. It’s the kind of exhaustion that makes your teeth hurt and your memory slip. It’s when crying feels like a luxury because there’s no time for it. If you’ve been there, you already know. If you haven’t, I hope you never do.
Self-Care Isn’t a Solution. It’s a Timeout, If You’re Lucky
The internet’s full of garbage advice for caregivers. "Take deep breaths." "Make time for yourself." "Practice gratitude."
Cool. Can that hold the bedpan while I go do yoga?
Breathing is great. Gratitude helps. But these are band-aids, not cures. You can’t meditate your way out of a 24-hour shift with no relief.
What Helped Me the Most: Time Away. Period.
Let’s say it out loud: the only thing that ever actually helped me was getting the hell away. Not forever. Not for days. Sometimes just for an hour. But stepping out of the grind was the only thing that brought me back to life.
Not a bubble bath. Not tea. Not journaling (though I’ll get to that). Just space.
Real Tools That Can Help Make This Possible
Care Sheets: Make a care sheet so someone else can step in without calling every ten minutes. Meds, food routines, quirks, do’s and don’ts. More on that in another post.
Micro-Respite: Find and train a neighbor. Pay a niece. Call a church. Trade time with another caregiver. Not always ideal. Always better than nothing.
Letting Go of Guilt: This one takes time. But the truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. And if you do, you’ll end up in a hospital bed next to the person you’re caring for.
Journaling Helps—But It Doesn’t Heal
I still keep a journal. It will dump the ugly thoughts without judgment. But journaling doesn’t fix the system or refill your gas tank. It just helps you not implode. That’s still worth doing.
If You’re Drowning, You’re Not Alone
Caregiving will wreck you if you don’t find your way back to shore. That’s not drama, it’s data. Burnout kills careers, bodies, marriages. But it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’re carrying more than anyone was meant to.
If any of this hit home, The Unmedical Manual for Caregivers might be worth a look. I wrote it after years of watching good people get ground down. No fluff. Just the stuff that works.
You’re not alone. Not today.
–j.w. Adams
If you don’t already have it, grab your copy of
The Unmedical Manual for Caregivers
Straight talk. No fluff. Real help.
