They’re Not Eating. Now What
They used to love food. They never skipped breakfast. You made their favorite. You begged. Bargained. Blended everything. Nothing.
Now the plates stay full, the scale drops, and you're left standing in the kitchen wondering:
Are they giving up? Or am I just failing them?
If you’ve been here you’re not alone.
Appetite loss is one of the most terrifying things caregivers face. It hits your brain and your heart at the same time. You want to fix it. But not everything is fixable — and sometimes, forcing food does more harm than good.
🚨 What Appetite Loss Really Means
First know this: loss of appetite is common. It doesn’t always mean death is around the corner. It can be a temporary dip, a medication side effect, or just aging. But it can also be a sign that the body is slowing down for good.
Call the doctor if:
There's sudden weight loss
Swallowing becomes difficult
They stop drinking fluids
There’s vomiting or signs of dehydration
But also: don’t panic too early. Not eating is information, not immediate doom.
🍽️ What Helps (and What Doesn’t)
Instead of pushing meals, try moments. Instead of calories, think comfort.
Here’s what helped me — and what might help you, too.
🥤 1. Nutritional Drinks
When they can’t eat, these are gold. Small, easy, calorie-dense. Rotate flavors. Serve cold.
👉 Ensure Original Nutrition Shake – Vanilla (Amazon)
👉 KATE FARMS Organic Nutrition Shake, Vanilla, (Amazon)
🥄 2. Thickening Agents for Swallowing
If they’re coughing or choking, liquids may need thickening. Don’t guess — get the right stuff.
🍫 3. High-Calorie Snacks That Don’t Feel Like “Food”
Soft, fast, no-pressure bites. Think pudding, nut butters, high-protein bars.
🥣 4. Adaptive Eating Tools That Make It Easier
If arthritis, weakness, or tremors are part of the picture — this gear helps.
👉 Bendable Adaptive Utensils (Amazon)
💧 5. Dry Mouth Support = Better Eating
If their mouth hurts, they won’t eat. Dry mouth is more common than most realize.
👉 Biotene Dry Mouth Spray (Amazon)
👉 Dr Plotkas Soft Bristle Flossing Toothbrush Manual Soft Toothbrush for Adults
🧺 Optional Comfort Tools (That Made a Difference)
👉 Reusable Adult Feeding Bib – (Amazon)
❤️ Final Thought: Love > Calories
It’s okay if they don’t finish the pudding. It’s okay to stop pushing and just be there. Sometimes food is connection. Sometimes, it’s not the point at all.
This kind of caregiving isn’t in the how-to books. That’s why I wrote The Unmedical Manual for Caregivers — so you’d have something real to reach for when the script runs out.
