Where the Hell Is the Help? Finding Real Support as an Unpaid Caregiver
You don’t need another “self-care tip” or a damn bubble bath suggestion.
You need help. Real, practical support — not just thoughts and prayers.
If you're doing home caregiving without training or backup, this post is your sign to stop carrying it all alone. Let’s talk about where the actual help is hiding, how to get it, and what kind of support you might not even know you’re allowed to ask for.
🔍 1. Local Nonprofits & Agencies on Aging
Start here. Call your regional Area Agency on Aging (AAA) — they often have programs for respite care, home-delivered meals, and case management for older adults and caregivers.
Look for:
Respite hours
Equipment loan programs
Adult day care options
Transportation assistance
Google “[your city] Area Agency on Aging” or check eldercare.acl.gov
🧍♀️ 2. Peer Support: Facebook Groups, Forums, Local Meetups
You need to vent. You need someone who gets it.
Online support can be hit or miss, but when it’s good, it’s a lifeline.
Try:
Our private group: The Unmedical Skills Lab for Caregivers
Reddit’s r/caregivers
Local hospital or hospice groups (often free)
These aren’t just emotional sounding boards — people swap tips, share gear, and warn you about what’s coming next.
📝 3. Your Job Might Owe You Backup
If you're working while caregiving, check:
Does your employer offer EAP (Employee Assistance Program)?
Is there FMLA eligibility to protect your job during emergencies?
Can you request flexible scheduling, PTO donations, or remote work?
It’s not “weak” to ask. It’s survival.
🩺 4. Know What You Can Delegate
You're not supposed to do everything.
Ask:
Can another family member take over med refills or appointment transport?
Can a home health agency take the dressing changes?
Can a visiting nurse or social worker be ordered through a doctor?
You’re a caregiver, not a miracle.
💡 5. Resources You Didn’t Know Existed
A few unexpected ones:
Local churches/synagogues often help caregivers regardless of faith
Libraries sometimes have free access to support services or tech
Veterans Affairs (VA) offers benefits for spouses and caregivers of vets
Caregiver Action Network (caregiveraction.org) – full of free resources and a help desk hotline
🧠 Real Talk
You’re not alone — but damn it can feel like it. If you’re reading this at 2AM while someone sleeps in the next room, just know: there’s nothing weak or selfish about asking for help.
I built The Unmedical Manual for Caregivers for exactly this reason — because no one trains you for this.
No one tells you what’s coming.
And you deserve better.
📘 Grab the book here on Amazon.
💬 Join the support group: The Unmedical Skills Lab for Caregivers
🛠️ Browse our caregiver tools: Caregiver's Corner (Blog)