Caregiving Without a Net. 7 Lessons Learned the Hard Way
They don’t teach you this stuff. And by the time you realize you’re a full-time caregiver, the safety net’s already gone.
If that’s you, this post is for you.
Here are 7 lessons learned the hard way.
1. Being There Is Enough (Even When It Doesn’t Feel Like It)
You won’t always have the right words or the right tools. But being presen, tired, or confused still matters. You’re showing up. That’s everything.
2. The Healthcare System Will Gaslight You
If you feel like you're constantly overlooked or dismissed, it's not in your head. Speak up. Ask twice. Keep notes. Be that person.
3. There Will Be a Breaking Point Plan for It
You will hit the wall. It’s not failure, it’s physics. Build in recovery. Even five minutes locked in the bathroom. Do what you must to regroup.
4. People Will Vanish
Friends will disappear. Some family members too. Some won’t know what to say, so they’ll say nothing. Grieve it. Then focus on the ones who show up.
5. There Is No Perfect Way to Do This
You will mess up meds. Lose your temper. Cry at the grocery store. You’re human. You are not a machine. Forgive yourself faster.
6. Humor Might Save Your Sanity
Some of the darkest days came with the weirdest laughter. Inappropriate jokes, awkward moments, and sarcastic jabs kept me breathing.
7. You Deserve Support, Even If You Have to Find It Yourself
You’re not just caring for someone else, you’re trying to hold on to yourself. That deserves respect, help, and some damn rest.
That’s why I wrote The Unmedical Manual for Caregivers, not to be an expert, but to be a voice from the trenches. To hand you what I wish someone had handed me.
